The main thing that makes this country worth living in are all the immigrants. I am fed up of being surrounded by ignorant 'geographically challenged' idiots who think that where you are born should define your importance.
So with this in mind I have decided to set up a party that speaks for the best people of this country - the immigrants.
The Immigrants National Party (INP) will speak up for the immigrants who, as we all know, actually do all the real hard work in this country and are struggling with the burden of being overrun with self important, pissed up, lazy, ageing, whinging, useless, Daily Mail reading ballerinas.
The INF will, like it's antithesis - the BNP - only effectively have one policy - getting rid of the people it doesn't like.
So anyone who votes Tory or ticks immigration as 'the most important issue' on the MORI poll gets a free ticket to Michael Howards fantasy island (where all the asylum seekers were to be processed by the Tories at the last election).
Even a ballerina would know it makes sense.