14 January 2007

The Immigrants National Party

The main thing that makes this country worth living in are all the immigrants. I am fed up of being surrounded by ignorant 'geographically challenged' idiots who think that where you are born should define your importance.

So with this in mind I have decided to set up a party that speaks for the best people of this country - the immigrants.

The Immigrants National Party (INP) will speak up for the immigrants who, as we all know, actually do all the real hard work in this country and are struggling with the burden of being overrun with self important, pissed up, lazy, ageing, whinging, useless, Daily Mail reading ballerinas.

The INF will, like it's antithesis - the BNP - only effectively have one policy - getting rid of the people it doesn't like.

So anyone who votes Tory or ticks immigration as 'the most important issue' on the MORI poll gets a free ticket to Michael Howards fantasy island (where all the asylum seekers were to be processed by the Tories at the last election).

Even a ballerina would know it makes sense.


  1. Hang on.... by definition the INP would be ticking the box for imigratin as the most important issue.

  2. errrr...details mere details my dear anon. Like the BNP the INP won't let contradictory policies get in the way of a good vindictive prejudice.

  3. Sorry Neil... didn't mean to be anon. Just cocked up all these boxes :-)

    Just so you know it was a well-intentioned wind-up and not right-wing agitation. I assume you read the piece in todays' Guardian about all the benefits of immigration?

  4. Well this post was supposed to be a bit tongue in cheek.

    Just read that article, excellent points (most I have heard before), but did enjoy the point about cultural difference - (society can tolerate nuns and transexuals, marxists and libertarians, eco-warriers and city slickers, so why not different religions, ethnicities etc?)

    This 'cultural difference' is the point Devil's Kitchen expounds, but we all know he means 'culturally inferior' but he cannot state that so he hides behind this nudge nudge wink wink argument.

  5. My idea for sorting out the immigration system is along similar lines. I'd operate a "one in, one out" policy. Asylum applications would be automatically accepted and for every asylum seeker coming in a Daily Mail reader would be sent to the country they came from.

  6. tim, you are truly a genius! moah!