On top of that, all pavements will be converted to parking spaces, and a white car will be painted on all cycle lanes to signifiy that cars, people and cyclists can safetly mix in confined spaces.
Don't worry about the increased traffic pollution as we'll issue masks to all children and foreign students (as they bring in cash).
Further, all buses will be equipped with square wheels, and there will be new lanes specifically for 4x4's.
I'd also just like to take the opportunity to confirm that we have not ripped off the Brighton and Hove Tory party transport manifesto."
This was a comment posted on Argus website - so good I had to pinch it.